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::yawn:: seriously, straight folx? You sure are getting it twisted. Are you so uncomfortable/insecure with your straight privilege you need to be included in /everything/? For those of you who are supposedly "inclusive," this is clearly not about you, so why the need to take things personally? If you were really a so-called "ally," you wouldn't be getting defensive because you'd understand it's a matter of systemic and institutional oppression and I don't know, respecting people's space. Unless you experience oppression or harrassment on the daily, you have no idea what it's like to walk around with a target on your back and deal with assholes in places that are supposed to be welcoming not to mention on the streets. Womxn, you know this well. So, straight and hell why not, cisgendered folx, kindly do your homework before writing another uninformed, oppressive, and yes, homophobic comment that totally misses the point.
Posted by thankfullyqtpoc
Axe13 I don't believe for an instant you're a real woman. I mean the pompous silly language you use i.e. "heteronormitave", "cis" shows you're a tranny.
And no, trans women are not real women and never can be
Posted by Tallskin
The question and Dan's answer have to do with what people who get catcalls should DO. The comments and my interest have to do with how people who get catcalls FEEL. I'm not sure in this case that differences in feelings are necessarily based on differences in threat level. They may be. I'm not sure. I can say that I (straight female) am deeply belittled and disgusted and unsettled and squicked out by catcalls in a way that goes way beyond any assessment of whether or not I'm in danger. The LW doesn't say that, but I wonder if some of his question stems from some of those feelings that may have been new to him, something along the lines of "I had all these horrible feelings, but when I think about it-- I wasn't actually threatened-- I'm not sure why."
Posted by Fichu
what a wonderful world we are living, i still doubt this spell caster how he did it!!! i am Shechan Caroline am from Los Angeles I am so happy to let the whole word know how this powerful spell caster saved my marriage.Everything was going down the drain as my husband can not stop cheating on me with other women. It became used to always heating on me. I tried to make him stop, but I couldn't help the situation, the more I tried, the harder it becomes. At times we will fight and go apart for some months and we will come back again just because of our kids. One day a friend told me about this spell caster who helped her too, his name is Dr.oku, she said he uses white magic spells to solve spiritual problems. I decided to give it a try, I contacted him and he told me it will take just 2 to 3 days and I will see great changes in my husband. He actually cast a spell, believe me after 2 to 3 days of the spell, my husband was confessing different names of woman he has slept with. He begged for forgiveness and never to try it again. From that day till now, my mind is at rest. My husband dislike every other women on earth except me. And am so happy to have him for myself alone.The spell caster’s contact is firstname.lastname@example.org or add him on whasapp +2347053113465
Posted by Shechan1
Is this article meant to be satire or is the author that deluded? I've seen several videos from Evergreen college and the racist behaviour was on the part of Ms Lowe and students who were demanding that white students be segregated. Anybody who doesn't see that that is racist hatred does not know what those words mean. Ms Lowe should be fired with prejudice for criminal misconduct and so should the university president. Those students who harassed faculty should also be expelled permanently for their criminal conduct.
It is not free speech to harass and threaten, these were civil rights violations and criminal acts. Further students should have been penalized for failing to attend on previous years.
Posted by Owen T
Skeptic @131/132: Ah, if only being over thirty actually did serve as inoculation against falling for someone. All Mr Sneakily-Open had to have done was be attractive, charming and flirtatious to stir those strong teenage emotions, particularly in a woman who had been single for a while (we don't know if this is SHAME's situation, but I wouldn't be surprised). Infatuation is powerful, and yes, while the fact that it made her feel she'd "lost control of her actions" is a red flag, the fact that she fell hard isn't evidence of deliberate manipulation on his part. Hormones are a hell of a drug.
Posted by BiDanFan
Emma @32: Exactly. When men say, "I'd love to be catcalled!", they completely miss the real nature of male-on-female street harassment, and envision a beautiful woman -- someone they'd want to sleep with -- making the first move. That is NOT analogous in any way. Much closer, as you say, would be a 6'10", wrestler-built gay man shouting "nice ass." And even this doesn't compare; the 6'10" catcalling wrestler would be an anomaly in a straight man's life, not something he'd experienced so regularly he'd developed coping strategies to deal with it.
Fichu @34 makes a good point: Even in situations where there is no threat, it's dehumanising and annoying. And invariably, you don't get the opportunity to respond the way your inner Wonder Woman sees you responding in these situations. Invariably, your actual response -- even if it was to be brave and "holla back" -- falls short of the ball-kicking he deserves. So he wins, and that missed opportunity at micro-justice leaves a residue of resentment. And we hate men just a little bit more.
Posted by BiDanFan
@21: How do you know exactly where the officers were, where the residents were, and the exact layout of the room, hallways, exits, and furniture/obstructions? Was this reported somewhere, or are you just making stuff up?
Posted by Theodore Gorath
Gay men absolutely have the capacity to harass women. And it doesn't mean they're not really gay, as some air quotes from other commenters seem to suggest. I've seen gay men grab women's breasts and refuse to stop when the girl protests. I have had an insanely long argument with an otherwise reasonable gay guy about whether he did or did not have the right to grab his friend's breasts after she asked him to stop. (!!)
Posted by Joanna.or.Joey
You write "One thing that I don't think was really outlined by Dan is just how hard it is for a poly guy to find someone else."
I beg to differ. Plenty of poly guys have multiple partners, without resorting to subterfuge. In fact, I'd say that for long-term relationships, poly guys do about as well on average as poly women.
Posted by ThatOtherGuy
I think a large part of the reason women respond differently to catcalling is because we are trained to be afraid. I can only recall one incident in my life where I was catcalled, and it wasn't a very bad catcall. I've never been raped or harassed. Yet I've had a fear of men drilled into my brain from a very young age. Women can't leave the house without someone telling them they can be raped. Men aren't raised with this fear, so even when men are harassed and feel violated, they tend to brush it off as unimportant. I think men would be better off if they didn't gaslight themselves.
@36 Why would a guy want to touch a woman's breasts if he has no interest in breasts? Can you imagine an asexual groping people? I think people forget bisexuals exist.
Posted by TheLastComment
The problem isn't so much the straight a-holes as it is the management. If they are not policing the trouble makers then you must assume it is not so much a night FOR gays as it is a night where gays are the featured attraction.
Posted by FrostyMike
I have a philosophical problem with her prosecution of Colton Harris-Moore. It seems to me that individuals have an inalienable right to tell their own story. To enthusiastically endorse that sort of pre-emptive silencing of an individual is troubling.
Posted by kallipugos
@24 its linked right at the beginning of the article you're commenting on.
Posted by JonnoN
While no meanness was probably intended, Erik does come off a bit smug and flippant with his constant references to 'Sad Old Men'. One day (if he's lucky), he'll be in his 70s too. If he gets there with none of the baggage of regrets and setbacks that come with every life, good for him. Otherwise, a little more understanding and empathy. for the men Elliot's character portrays wouldn't be out of order.
Posted by MrB
Otherwise, not a bad review, but nothing remarkable, either. Let's face it; people don't write for The Stranger because the New York Times wasn't hiring this week.
Posted by MrB
The forensic evidence is consistent with the officer's account, that the officer retreated from the first swipe with a knife, into a kitchen, surrounded on three sides, -- two exterior walls and a counter with overhead cabinets. So, surrounded, with an assailant carrying a large knife -- 4-feet away -- screaming 'Do it motherfucker. Do it.' (She was later found to be carrying another large knife in her coat pocket. And the prior weeks she has threatened police and endangered a 4-year old, menacing and refusing to put-down a large pair of shears.
Citizens and police share a mutual responsibility to each other for safety during an encounter. You seem to think its only the cops responsible for deescalation and discretion with weapons. She made shitty choices. Those choices have consequences.
And If this is about race -- not culture, and the consequences of conduct -- where are the large numbers of Asian- and Indo-Americans meeting their ends at the hands of white cops?
Posted by Zok
@37 - To be annoying? To show that the groper has power over the gropee? Sexual assault isn't about desire, ffs. What an asinine question.
Posted by sanguisuga
Don't have kids if you can't care for them. Don't charge police officers with deadly weapons. I know we are all victims of something but these aren't radical ideas.
Posted by Seattle sanity
ASS claims that he doesn't cat-call women, and maybe he doesn't, but millions of men do. ASS suggests that gay men are more aggressive about their overtures, but that's both FUCKING OFFENSIVE and FUCKING NOT TRUE. Gay men absolutely can be obnoxious about it, but no more so than straight men. I'm willing to wager that the overwhelming vast majority of adult women have at some point felt menasced by overt, aggressive pick-up attempts and cat-calls. I see it all the time, and I live and work in a gay bubble, so I can only imagine what it's like outside that bubble.
I continue to maintain that a lot of homophobia is rooted in straight men's fears that gay men will treat them they way they want and too often do treat women. ASS reinforces my belief about that.
I'm not saying that ASS is wrong for feeling uncomfortable about it. I'm saying ASS is a dick for pretending it's not a problem with straight men.
Posted by Kevin_BGFH